Adoption: God Provides Through People

Adoption: God Provides Through People

Early on in the adoption process, a number is scribbled on a piece of paper, and the number catches me by surprise. It’s more money than we have, and we don’t know how we’ll get it. But we know this: God is not surprised by the number, and this number is not too big for Him. He could stick it in our bank account right now.

But He doesn’t. He doesn't typically work like that. 

He works like this:

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Adoption: The Lord Waits to be Gracious to You

Adoption: The Lord Waits to be Gracious to You

One of the exhausting things about pregnancy, for me, was that never, ever was I able to forget that I was pregnant. Not even for a moment. I was constantly uncomfortable in some kind of way, and my body promoted my brain and heart to endlessly prepare and ponder. 

Adoption is different. There isn’t a growing belly, just a growing mound of paperwork. There isn’t a timeline or a sense of progress, just a bunch of days with zero news and occasionally an email with potentially life-changing news that ends up being someone else’s life-changing news. Sometimes it just feels like a project, not a person. This is a different kind of exhausting.

So that’s why the little shoes made me cry. They are real and real feet go inside them.

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Let the Little Children Come (Conveniently Please)

Let the Little Children Come (Conveniently Please)

On a whim, I decided to memorize Psalm 139 when I was pregnant with my son Greer, and that random decision has transformed me. This commonly quoted passage (it's the one with "fearfully and wonderfully made" and all that) is one I used to skate over in favor of lesser known passages. I tend to be a bit "hipster" in my Bible study, as if Habakkuk is a trendy restaurant with a great kale salad and Psalm 139 is The Olive Garden. When I dig up my motives, I learn that I'm really annoying, and I realize that being snobby about what passages I pick means I miss out on delicious breadsticks.

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Baskets In the Water

Baskets In the Water

I entered the adoption process as I enter most things: optimistically. We stepped out excitedly, full of anticipation of the child God had for us, the adventure of growing our family and living the gospel story in such a practical way.

The further along we got in the process, the more tender my heart became towards this child we’d one day adopt. I didn’t know (and still don't know) a thing about him or her, but my heart found that special ferocity for this child that it only reserves for mamas towards their children.

And this ferocity is a good thing. It shows that we are on our child’s side, that there’s nothing we wouldn’t do to ensure his or her well-being, that there’s no length our love would not go.

But just as I’ve seen happen a million times with my two biological children, the flip side of ferocity is fear.

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