The Gospel of Fatherhood

The Gospel of Fatherhood

Adelaide was three weeks old in this picture, but she and her daddy still look at one other like this. She's our oldest, and during those newborn months, the weight and magic of my new motherhood and my husband's new fatherhood astounded me. Who were we to be entrusted with someone so precious?

During those months, I came across a quote from Hayley DiMarco that I've never forgotten: "A girl's father is her first love, her evidence that there truly is a God and that he truly loves her."

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Knowing Your Name When the World Tries to Name You

Knowing Your Name When the World Tries to Name You

"But now thus says the LORD, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: 'Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.'" Isaiah 43:1

Names matter. My parents named me “Caroline,” and somehow that particular string of letters feels eternally linked to who I am, as if they line my DNA like biological alphabet soup. (It’s weird because they could have named me something else, like Karen or Bubbalicious or Raisin Bran, and I’m sure I’d feel just as connected to those series of letters if they had.) Praise the Lord, even though Dad actually loves Raisin Bran, my folks thought carefully and chose Caroline, just for me.

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Adoption: The Lord Waits to be Gracious to You

Adoption: The Lord Waits to be Gracious to You

One of the exhausting things about pregnancy, for me, was that never, ever was I able to forget that I was pregnant. Not even for a moment. I was constantly uncomfortable in some kind of way, and my body promoted my brain and heart to endlessly prepare and ponder. 

Adoption is different. There isn’t a growing belly, just a growing mound of paperwork. There isn’t a timeline or a sense of progress, just a bunch of days with zero news and occasionally an email with potentially life-changing news that ends up being someone else’s life-changing news. Sometimes it just feels like a project, not a person. This is a different kind of exhausting.

So that’s why the little shoes made me cry. They are real and real feet go inside them.

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Very Little Ice - A Tribute to My Granddaddy

Very Little Ice - A Tribute to My Granddaddy

“If they don’t want to hear about my grandchildren, they shouldn’t come talk to me." It's the thing I've heard him say that seems to sum him up the best: loving, unafraid to tell it like it is, and a maybe a tad bit braggadocious. He loved his family deeply and with grit. In fact, he once punched a shetland pony named Trigger IN THE FACE. Trigger had kicked my grandmother, and Granddaddy was not going to let him get away with that. 

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Dusty Old Tooth Baggies

Dusty Old Tooth Baggies

When my siblings and I were little and we lost a tooth, we would excitedly place the tooth under our pillow and drift off to sleep with dreams of the BIG GIANT one dollar bill that would take its place. Oh but Tooth Fairy, aren’t you an unjust little thing, because don’t think we didn’t know that Claire and Abby down the street got FIVE DOLLARS per tooth. What, are their teeth better than ours? NO, they eat just as much candy as we do, and you are probably not as sparkly as people say you are, so chomp on that with your huge collection of tiny child teeth, which BY THE WAY, is a terrifying and alienating hobby, but we look forward to your TLC show.

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